Deconstructing Harry Part 5: A Review in Seven Parts

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Author's note: The "thoughts-per-page" posted are the exact thoughts I had while reading that very page. They have not nor will not be edited in retrospect or changed in hindsight. I will hold off on giving my opinion of the book until I've finished reading it. Here are my thoughts on pages 401-520 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:

Page 404 - And the book's title finally makes its grand entrance. Turns out the symbol Xenophilius was wearing at Bill and Fleur's wedding is the sign of the Deathly Hallows.

Page 409 - When put together, "The Elder Wand," "The Resurrection Stone" and "The Cloak of Invisibility" make up the Deathly Hallows. Either that or a Happy Meal.

Page 410 - The three Hallows united will make their owner the "master of death." Hermione has a problem with the concept and is called "narrow" and "close-minded." Ouch.

Page 418 - Harry enters Luna's room. It appears no one's lived there for weeks. I wrote the word "shit" in my copy of the book. Then, for good measure, I wrote the word "piss." Just when I think I'm gonna get a little Luna action, it's yanked away from me.

Page 419 - Turns out Luna's dad's been pressured to change his stories in The Quibbler to please The Ministry. Why? They took his daughter and he's hoping that if he complies they'll give her back.

Page 425 - After escaping the Death Eaters that nearly capture the gang in Luna's house, Hermione says her parents are safe because they're in Australia. Yes. Australia. Because Voldemort would never look there during the off-season.

Page 426 - Ron says "damn" again. Certain members of the Religious Right spontaneously combust.

Page 429 - Harry wonders if Hallows versus Horcruxes is a way to victory. "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." Potter wonders if the three Hallows making him the master of death would give him the power to destroy "the last enemy."

Page 431 - Voldemort is also after The Elder Wand. But Harry doesn't believe good old Voldy fully knows its power.

Page 438 - The password to listen to "Potterwatch" -- the radio show created to debunk the misinformation about Potter -- is "Albus." Ooh ... that was a tough one. Wonder how anyone figured it out?

Page 439 - "Muggle slaughter is becoming little more than a recreational sport under the new regime."

Page 440 - "Muggles remain ignorant of the source of their suffering as they continue to sustain heavy casualties." Sounds like Muggles to me. Has this book suddenly jumped into the "non-fiction" aisle at the bookstore?

Page 445 - "Voldemort." Oh, good one, Harry. The name is no longer silly superstition. You say it, you're caught. Before Harry could get out a, "My bad," a dozen wands were pointed at him, Hermione and Ron.

Page 459 - Draco's tired of being a bad guy.

Page 463 (and more) - Hermione is tortured.

Page 464 - Luna Lovegood is back! Yay!

Page 466 - "Hermione's screams echoed off the walls upstairs ..." Is this the final Potter novel or the newest Saw film?

Page 467 - Dobby the house-elf is back! And he's Apparated to save the imprisoned group of heroes. "Dobby has come to rescue you."

Page 476 - Dobby's dead. But he died a heroic death as a free elf. That would suck if Mad-Eye Moody and Dobby are the two "main characters" J.K. Rowling has went on and on about killing. Harry, Ron or Hermione -- at least one of them has to go. I've always hoped Potter would die and his death would be avenged by Ron and Hermione.

Page 492 - Horcrux or Hallows? Harry's made his choice and he's went with Horcruxes for the win.

Page 496 - Ollivander reveals that Voldemort is only looking for the Elder Wand to defeat Harry's. He (Voldemort) apparently knows next to nothing about the Deathly Hallows.

Page 497 - Or ... er ... boy did I mess that one up. "The Dark Lord no longer seeks the Elder Wand for your destruction, Mr. Potter. He is determined to possess it because he believes it will make him truly invulnerable." I'm guessing he believes wrong.

Page 499 - So that's why Dumbledore dueled Grindelwald.

Page 500 - They're going to Hogwarts! I knew J.K. wouldn't end the series without Hogwarts making an appearance.

Page 501 - Busting into his tomb and stealing from Dumbledore's corpse -- Voldemort knows no shame. And I still wonder if Dumbledore is really dead. I guess I'm still in the "denial" phase of grieving.

Page 514 - Lupin and Tonks had their baby and Harry's a godfather. So wizards believe in God, then?

Page 517 - Y'know how when you buy a piece of software or music nowadays it says that it isn't your property and your purchase has only granted you a "license" to use said software? A license that may be revoked at any time? And that you may not share the item you "leased" with friends or family? It looks like corporations are run by goblins. As Bill explains, "To a goblin, the rightful and true master of any object is the maker, not the purchaser. All goblin-made objects are, in goblin eyes, rightfully theirs. They have ... great difficulty with the idea of goblin-made objects passing from wizard to wizard. They consider our habit of keeping goblin-made objects, passing them from wizard to wizard without further payment, little more than theft." Read the back of the next piece of software you buy. Sound familiar?

Page 518 - Oh great, now 17-year-old Harry's drunk. Seriously, Conservatives should just close this book up, hide their heads in the sand, and pretend the Harry Potter series never happened.

And the book and the Harry Potter series is nearing its finale. How will it end? Who will live? Who will die? Only one way to find out (well, technically two ways to find out, if you count reading the book all by yourself as a way) ... be back tomorrow for Part 6 of 7!
--Alex Sandell