Thursday, July 19, 2007

5 Dumbest Things Americans Have Protested in the Past 5 Years

5. Evolution

None of the signs they hold up or mantras they chant could do as effective a job making a case against evolution as the fact that there are actually humans in the 21st Century who don't believe in evolution.

4. Gay Marriage

The argument goes, "Protect the sanctity of marriage." No, it's not really much of an argument, but it won't go away. Esp. during the Republican Primaries. Stupid Republicans and their primaries.

3. Stem Cell Research

Anyone protesting stem cell research today needs to step to the back of the line in 50 years when the research has helped discover a cure for Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and cancer. Paraplegics will have to have someone carry them there.

2. The Shitty Virgin Mary

Some guy put elephant dung on a painting of the Holy Virgin Mary, people protested and then New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani threatened to cut funding to the Brooklyn Art Museum if it chose to run the exhibit. I suppose elephant dung could have mildly offended a person or two, but look at the picture and tell me what you think really had their undies up in a bunch:

Was it the dung, or? Which brings me to ...

1. Janet Jackson's Nipple

If there was only one incident in all of humanity that would send future generations into hysterics, it would be the reaction people had over seeing a nipple during a football game. Fines were dealt, debates were had and countless hours of "news" was devoted to a millisecond shot of a woman's nipple slip. People said the "innocent" minds of children everywhere would be corrupted. Well, guess what that nipple was made for? To feed innocent children. Just because they make grown men horny doesn't make them "bad." The smell of pumpkins make grown men horny. Are we going to ban Halloween?

Oh, wait ... maybe I shouldn't give them any ideas.
--Alex Sandell

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Because she's African-American? I'm sorry but I was offended hearing that someone had put feces on the virgin Mary. It doesn't matter what color the artist painted her although it's been proven that she was of Caucasian decent.

July 19, 2007 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger James Ferace said...

They should have used Chocolate Pudding instead. Then we could have avoided this big mess.

Also, I read a report that revealed that Mother Goose was actually Indonesian.

July 19, 2007 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger Sloopydrew said...

@the original hillary:

"it's been proven that she was of Caucasian decent"

And how was it proven? Where did you hear this? What meds are you on and does someone need to let your doctor know that you went off them?

July 19, 2007 at 8:35 PM  
Blogger Sloopydrew said...

@darkmanpoe:

I was starting to worry that MySpace sucked you in and wouldn't let you free. Good to see you here. Over 100 people on my friend list over there and you're only the second one who managed to pull himself away (not counting me).

The rest are still tucked safely in Rupert Murdoch's villainous clutches. Enjoying the faux comfort corporate owned communities can provide -- until they yank it all away, reveal an agenda or start charging you for it.

Anyway, hi. Glad to see you posting here. But it just isn't the same without the kudos. ;-)

July 19, 2007 at 8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could you forget the banning of Teletubbies saying they're promoting homosexuality?

July 20, 2007 at 8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an aunt who thinks that a picture of an angel-which she saw in a church-where it's hurting a demon with a spear is something fact-based.
Makes me wonder... what things that you think are true a more evolved intelligence will laugh at them.
Who knows. Maybe in 300 years masturbation will be alowed at any place at any time.

July 20, 2007 at 12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Alex- I like the update. What about the nimrods protesting the acceptance of the gay lifestyle by demonstrating at the funerals of Iraq war soldiers? I don't really get the connection there at all. I guess they are just looking for a little publicity and know that protesting at a funeral will get people's attention.

July 20, 2007 at 3:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Funny update! Even funnier graphic!

July 20, 2007 at 5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To HeatherMC:
See, what these people think is
Iraq =leads to=> war =fought by=> army =which is(much like the navy I guess)=>absolutely gay.
Thats the connection. ö

July 20, 2007 at 5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about when Bono said "fuck" at that award show? You should turn this into a top 100 update like the ones you used to do

July 21, 2007 at 12:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDSMAD-EYE MOODY DIES
VOLDEMORT DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
SNAPE DIES
FRED DIES
DOBBY DIES
EVEN HEDWIG DIES! [LOL]
RON MARRIES HERMIONE
PS HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE KIDS

July 25, 2007 at 6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ban Halloween, of course that's whats next.

July 27, 2007 at 11:53 AM  
Blogger Sloopydrew said...

@anonymous:

This isn't a Harry Potter thread so take your spoilers somewhere else.

@marysue:

Believe it or not, some religions have already tried it (seriously).

July 27, 2007 at 1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

5YQX2u Your blog is great. Articles is interesting!

October 26, 2007 at 2:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wwrFoe Please write anything else!

October 26, 2007 at 12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

vm58NY Magnific!

October 26, 2007 at 2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

October 26, 2007 at 2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful blog.

October 26, 2007 at 2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks to author.

October 27, 2007 at 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Magnific!

October 28, 2007 at 9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please write anything else!

October 30, 2007 at 1:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful blog.

October 30, 2007 at 4:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

October 30, 2007 at 8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kAU0Pj Thanks to author.

October 31, 2007 at 1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good job!

October 31, 2007 at 1:52 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home