Uncle Alex

Does that have a nice ring to it? Because I'm gonna have to get used to hearing people call me "Uncle Alex," as I am now an uncle. Sort of like Ben, but I don't shill rice. Ironically, my other brother who just became an uncle's name is Ben. I just thought of that as I typed "sort of like Ben." Weird. We have an Uncle Ben in the family.

Anyway, that's me holding my nephew David up there. I told jfargo (otherwise known as Jeremiah Fargo) that being an uncle isn't as weird as it seems (in six month, he's going to be one himself). That's only partially true. Whenever I look at this picture of my nephew in my arms I get all gooey like. I can't really explain it. But he was made from my brother's sperm and my brother and I were both made from my dad's sperm, which makes me sort of ... er ... an uncle.

Okay, jfargo (otherwise known as Jeremiah Fargo) ... I lied -- it is fucking weird!

But at the same time, look at that picture up there. Try to look past my hairy arms and gigantic mutant freak hands and see that cute little baby they're holding. Doesn't part of you look forward to that experience (being an uncle, not growing an absurd amount of hair on your arms)?

The only bitch of a problem is that I'm now forced to be "cool" for that much longer (heh). Everyone wants to be the "cool" Uncle. And anyone named "Uncle Ben" can't be cool by default. That leaves the job to me.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!! How can someone as tiny as the baby in my arms cause this much pressure? David, I hope I can live up to your expectations. And I hope your mom and dad never find out about the R rated movies I sneak you into. Or how late I let you stay up when they're away and I'm babysitting. That's the job of the "cool" uncle, right?

How much you wanna bet my brother's reading this and getting all pissed? "Honey," he'll say to his wife, "Alex is NOT taking David to the movies unless we go along!" And so it begins...

EDIT: And knowing my luck, I'll drop dead before he's old enough to say my name.
--Alex Sandell